Makoto's tale
by Sheankelor
Summary: How did Makoto end up living alone... how did she learn to take care of herself? These questions have bugged me so I wrote a story for it. If you enjoy my idea, please let me know.
1. Not wanting to feel

Title:Not wanting to feel  
Author: Ree  
Theme: Preseries - apathy  
Genre: general  
Version: Anime/Manga (Makoto)  
Rating: G

I asked for their stories and this is what they told me. I can't guarantee they're the truth, you will have to ask Takeuchi Naoko, to whom they belong to.

Not wanting to feel

Makoto crossed the room heading for the spare bedroom she had called her own for the past three weeks. The first week was in absolute joy, the second in sheer terror and fear, the third was in horrific grief and now apathy. As she crossed the room, she tried to ignore the conversation that her neighbors, the ones Mom and Dad had arranged to watch her, were having with their friends. She heard them anyway.

"Her Grandmother doesn't want to take her in."

"Honestly? Is she a bad child?"

"No, no, she isn't bad at all, she is really a well behaved girl. It just her Grandmother. I told the lawyer's office that we could watch her for a while longer."

"That was very thoughtful of you."

"Her parents were such good friends of ours."

Makoto shut the door. She knew that the words should hurt, they should cut her to the quick. But nothing hurt anymore. She knew that her Grandmother wanted nothing to do with her. It had been evident at the funeral, or rather the ceremony, as there had been no bodies to lay to rest. The Sea of Japan had seen to that. Makoto dropped on to the bed letting the memories of that day course through her mind. She had seen her Grandmother across the room and her heart had risen, hope had budded, hope that she would be able to share her grief, to be able to cry on a shoulder of someone that was family, that would understand the grief she felt.

Makoto rolled up her pillow and stared up at the white ceiling. _'Grandmother had stood by me just because it was expected of her. She was so cold... so emotionless. And then she just left... she didn't say a word to me or anyone. She watched the ceremony and then walked out the door.'_ Closing her eyes, she tried to let her senses sink into the silence she wanted to feel deep inside herself. Her psuedoguardian's conversation came through the wall. She could hear the whiny complaining undertone. She could tell that she wasn't really wanted, she was a burden.

Sliding off the bed, she grabbed her bags. It was time to start packing. _'I will not burden anyone with my presence. All I want to do is go home anyway.'_ That was where she had gone the night of the ceremony, hope still high in her chest that her parents were really alive and would come back. That hope had faded, and the wet ashes were all that was left. Throwing her belongings any which way into the suitcase, she prepared to leave. As soon as the guests left and her neighbors went back to their room, she was out of there. Then she could finally have the silence, the emptiness she craved.


	2. Two shells in need of a heart

Title: Two shells in need of a heart  
Author: Ree  
Theme: Preseries - "The Guy Who Says Goodbye to You Is Out of His Mind" by Griffin House  
Genre: general/Drama (?)  
Version: Anime/Manga  
Rating: G

I asked for their stories and this is what they told me. I can't guarantee they're the truth, you will have to ask Takeuchi Naoko, to whom they belong to.

Two shells in need of a heart

_The part of the song:  
I've been feeling sorry for myself  
Don't hesitate to boost my confidence  
Well I've been lost and I need direction  
I could use a little love and protection _

Hanako Kino stood outside her son's apartment door. She had sworn that she would never be able to feel anything again the day that her husband had died. That had proven incorrect. She could still be hurt, she could still feel gut retching fear. The death of her son and daughter-in-law had proven that. What she had lost was the ability to show it. So, the fact she was pulling out the key she had almost thrown away to open the door to a place she had been sure she would never see again shouldn't surprise her.

_'I will not be a good guardian, not to a twelve year old. I know it. But...'_ The phone call from the lawyer's office had jarred her into action. They had inquired where she wanted them to send Makoto to. _'But... I will not condemn her to an orphanage. I will not disgrace the family that way.'_ Slipping the key into the lock, she gently opened the door. _'Makoto was supposed to be at friends.'_ Their faces were horrified when she had appeared at their door. It seems Makoto walked out about a week ago and had locked herself into her family's apartment. No one had a key and the land lady was on vacation. _'I hope I do a better job than them.'_

Hanako slipped into the living room and stared about. The place smelled of spoiling food and some musty odor she could not place. Plates were left scattered about on the coffee table with half eaten food and cups were leaving tiny rings under them. _'At least she has been eating something, though not much. That is where the food smell is coming from. '_ Walking past them, she noticed that some of the food remains were very fresh. A small band that had wrapped around her chest when the Yamada's had told her what Makoto had done loosened. Makoto was still alive.

A touch of aspiration marked her steps as she strode back into the hallway. _'I bet the girl is feeling sorry for herself, and probably completely lost, too. I almost guarantee she wants someone to give her directions; to tell her what to do. I bet she also wants someone to show her love and affection. As if I can do that.'_ By the time she had reached Makoto's bedroom door, she felt her temper about ready to flare. She stopped at the door, shock running through her. Hanako had not _felt_ in three years, at least nothing as strong as this. With her hands resting on the door knob, she closed her eyes and tried to figure out why she was mad now. It wouldn't do to lash out at the child. _"I was lost, I wanted ... I needed someone to tell me what direction to move in. I needed someone to love me, to hold me, to protect me. But.. . there was no one. I'm mad because I know she needs the same things, but I can't do it for her. I can't be that person for her. I'm going to let her down the same way I was.'_ Opening her eyes, she stared hard at the door. _'Then I'll not even try, I know it would just turn out wrong. Everyone says my heart died with him... I'll let them be right. I'll teacher her to be independent and then let her go. She can find someone with a heart to open hers again, she's still young.'_ She turned the door knob and opened the door. _'Not like me.'_

Makoto turned over in her bed, the tangled mats of her hair falling into her face. Pushing them out of her line of sight, she glared at the one person she never expected to see again. "How did you get in here? Why did you even bother to come?" The venom in her tone surprised her, but she didn't apologize, she just waited for an answer.

Hanako let the tone wash over her, leaving her unaffected. "I have a key." She held her keyring up so that Makoto could see it. As she tucked it into her pocket, she looked Makoto over from head to foot. She look like she had slept in the pants and shirt for at least three days. Her face was pale and worn. Hanako guessed that she hadn't been sleeping well. "And I came to remind you that your a Kino, you are not allowed to disgrace this family by looking or acting like that." She stepped into the room, using her foot to push a pile of dirty laundry out of her way. It released the musty smell that she couldn't identify. "You have a choice." Her hand rested on her hip. "You can come stay with me, or you can go to an orphanage."

Makoto's eyes widened in surprise. _'Does she really want me?'_ The cold look that swept over her and her room again convinced her otherwise. _'No... she doesn't. It is because she won't disgrace the family name. That is all that she cares about.'_ She opened her mouth to tell the haughty lady to send her to the orphanage, but her grandmother held up her hand, forestalling her.

"If you go to the orphanage, then everything in this apartment, except your mother's jewelry, will be sold. If you chose to live with me, then you can keep what ever you want, and it will be stored in one of the rooms at my place until you move out next year. Think about it. I'll be waiting for you in the kitchen." As Hanako walked out of the pigsty of a room, she called back over her shoulder. "The movers will be here in an hour, so think quickly."

Makoto's fingers clenched around her bedpost, anger coursing through her veins, directed solely at the woman that was manipulating her. _'A choice... she calls that a choice! If I go to the orphanage, I'll lose everything. If I move in with her, I'll have to live with her coldness, her casual cruelty.'_ She looked about her room, taking in the dresser her parents had chosen for her before she was born and the vanity that they had found in a yard sale. It wasn't much but it was her memories, her connection to the two most important people to her. She knew what her decision was, there was really no question. Grabbing a scrunchy off her vanity, she headed to the kitchen while she pulled back her hair.

Hanako washed the dishes while she waited. She knew she wasn't being fair and she didn't care. She was not going to send that child into an orphanage and then into a foster home. The kettle whistled when she heard Makoto's door open and close. Drying two cups, she made them some tea.

Makoto glared at her grandmother. She looked so content in the kitchen. It brought back happy memories from before, when her grandmother was nice. That made her madder still. Her old grandmother would never make her chose like this. She spit her answer out from gritted teeth. "I'll come with you."

Hanako nodded matter-of-factly and picked up a pen. "What do you wish to keep?" Makoto stared mulishly at her. Hanako raised a questioning eyebrow. "I take it you don't want anything then?"

Balling her fists up, Makoto bit out her list. "I want my bedroom furniture, those dishes, " She pointed to the ones Hanako had just finish cleaning. "and I want those chairs." She gestured to the collection of odd mismatched chairs.

Hanako wrote the list as Makoto told it to her. She waited to hear if there was anymore, watching the girl as she waited.

Makoto stomped over to one of the chairs and plopped into it. _'She probably won't let me take more.'_ She glanced at the coffee table. She would love to have it, too. There was so much more she wanted to take, but she was sure that she had reached her limit.

Hanako caught her glance at the coffee table. She wrote it down on her list and then added all the good dishes and family heirlooms that she was sure Makoto would want later when she was thinking clearer. "Now that that is settled, you need to go clean up, change cloths, and pack your bags. You _shall_ be presentable when the movers arrive."

Both pairs of stubborn eyes met each other across the room. Makoto dropped hers first and headed for the bathroom.

Hanako picked up her tea cup and blew across the hot liquid. This was going to tough, real tough.


	3. Refinishing

Title: Refinishing  
Author: Ree  
Theme: Preseries - knocked up  
Genre: general  
Version: Anime/Manga  
Rating: G

I asked for their stories and this is what they told me. I can't guarantee they're the truth, you will have to ask Takeuchi Naoko, to whom they belong to.

Refinishing

Knocked up, battered about, bruised as much as wood could be. That described the old table top that leaned against the trash deposit pole, but Makoto thought it was a good description of herself as well. Abandoned was another word that applied to both of them, too. The thirteen year old set down her bags of burnable trash next to the pole. Running a hand over the scared surface, she looked at the backside . _'The legs are taped to the back. It looks solid. '_

Dragging her wagon closer, she hefted the table into it. Balancing the little four person table, she pulled the wagon back to her apartment. _'I'll go grocery shopping later.'_

-----

The groceries were put away, and all the things she needed to refinish the table were laid out with the table on the thick pad of newspapers she had harvested from a recycle bin. Starting with a heavy grit sandpaper, she started to work.

_'Table, I know how you feel. Left all alone... abandoned by everyone. First was Mom and Dad... then Grandmother. Mom and Dad didn't mean to go. They couldn't control what happened.'_ That had been the first real knock to her heart. _'But Grandmother...'_ The sandpaper rasped against the wood, scrapping off old paint, smoothing out old wounds. As she worked, memories of helping her father refinish her old bed frame rushed into her mind. Changing to a lighter weight sandpaper, she started over once again working on the table until it was as smooth as polished stone. Sitting back, Makoto brushed the sawdust off her arms and hands.

A glance at the clock showed that it was supper time. _'I'm supposed to be responsible. I'm supposed to be old enough to care for myself.'_ Those had been her Grandmother's parting words one week ago. Those words knocked large dents into her emotions. Cleaning the sawdust off the table, she remembered the intensity of the training her Grandmother had put her through for the past year. _'She never wanted me, but there was no one else when Mom and Dad didn't come home. One year... that is what she said. She would take care of me for one year. Then I was on my own.'_

Opening the stain, she stirred it gently before she started to apply it. _'And she meant what she said.'_ Two weeks ago, Grandmother leased this apartment and set up a checking account that Makoto could access. The first week they spent moving her in. Her old bed, a small couch that Grandmother never used, a set of mismatched chairs, and a few dishes was all that she had. Then Grandmother had enrolled her in a new school, handed her the key, and left. _'She even changed her phone number.'_ That hurt the most. If she was in trouble, there was no way to easily call her, she would have to go to her house. Grandmother's complete abandonment was the hardest knock of all.

Leaving the stain to dry, she wandered into the kitchen to fix a bit to eat. Sitting at the counter, she smiled at the table. When it was finished, she knew it was going to be beautiful. Then she would have to start on refinishing herself, covering the nicks and dings of her life, leaving a strong independent girl for the world to see.


	4. Hope

Title: Hope  
Author: Ree  
Theme: Preseries - innocence  
Genre: general  
Version: Anime/Manga  
Rating: G

I asked for their stories and this is what they told me. I can't guarantee they're the truth, you will have to ask Takeuchi Naoko, to whom they belong to.

Hope

Hanako picked up her pen and screwed up her courage. It had taken more out of her than she thought to let Makoto go. During the past year she had become attached to her granddaughter. The empty place where her heart had been was now filled with a tiny spark that had been lit by an innocent smile and a little girls pleasure.

_'Makoto gained pleasure from doing the simplest of things. Baking, growing and arranging flowers, even general cooking, all were a reason to smile, to laugh.'_ The pen clattered on the table top. Drawing her arms about her, she looked about her sun-filled living room. _'The warmth left with her. Did I do the right thing? She was ready, I really think she was. And she needs so much more than I can give her.'_ Even to herself that reason sounded hollow now. For she knew that they had worked it out. Both of them had found a way to be happy with each other. _'But it was my flaw that destroyed it. My need to do exactly what I say, with no compromises. She is so much stronger than me, more resilient. All the markings of a child that is still learning how mean the world can be. I hope I didn't destroy that innocence.'_

Picking up her pen once more, she reattempted the letter she had been trying to write all morning. She needed to explain and to ask forgiveness. She only hoped that she would receive it.

The letter wasn't read until supper time.

------------------

Makoto sat at her dining room table picking at the remains of her supper. The past month had been hard. The hardest part was the loneliness. No one to cook for, no one to surprise with a small bouquet of flowers she had taken the morning to arrange. The emptiness ate at her. Gathering her dishes, she walked into the kitchen and prepared to clean up. The doorbell interrupted her.

Standing at the door, she peered out the peep hole. There, standing on the other side of the door, was the tall gray haired woman whose dark eyes had warmed and gentled over the past year. That gentleness had given her hope, hope that she would not be abandoned. It was her grandmother. _'Do I want to let her in? I've made it this past month, I survived on my own. I found a type of peace. '_ Even as she questioned herself, she opened the door.

Hanako turned about, sure that Makoto was refusing to see her. _'I can't blame her either.'_ The opening of the door made her turn back around.

Makoto watched as her grandmother bowed formally to her. When she rose, she held out a small envelope.

Hanako noticed the shuttered look on Makoto's face. The pain she felt this time didn't surprise her, some how this little girl had taught her how to feel again. And maybe, if she hadn't destroyed everything, would help her learn to show it. "Here, please read it."

Makoto started at the sad, tired tone that those simple words were said with. For the first time in four years her grandmother spoke with an emotion in her voice. She felt her anger fade. Accepting the envelope, she noticed the hope and uncertainty in dark eyes searching her face. "I will."

Hanako nodded slightly and turned to leave. Makoto watched her walk away before she had a chance to invite her in. Shutting the door, she went back to the dining room table and opened the letter. _'I wonder who it could be from? It must be important if Grandmother hand delivered it.'_ The paper slipped gently from its protective coverings. Unfolding it, she was surprised to see her grandmother's handwriting. Steeling herself, Makoto read.

_My dearest sweet granddaughter, the light of my life,  
I am sorry. Yes, I mean that, all of it. I'm afraid I can't tell  
you this in person, at least not yet. I know I have done a horrible  
thing, that I have treated you badly. I can make no excuse for  
myself, just as I would not let you make one for yourself. We are  
who we are, and I am too old to change my ways. But I would like to  
try and explain._

You know that your Grandfather's death affected me badly. I lost  
the ability to trust someone enough to let them close to me. I  
closed off my heart. And then you came.

That first day, at your apartment, I told you that you could only  
stay with me a year. I regret saying that. I should have never  
put a time limit on us. There were many reasons why I did so, but  
I'm not going to bore you with them right now, but the main one  
was that I felt that I would do a bad job caring for you. Oh, I  
knew I could take care of your physical needs, but it was your  
emotional ones that I was in doubt about. I also knew that a foster  
home may not take care of either.

So, why, when we were doing so well, did I not change that time  
limit? That is my biggest flaw, one that your Father and Grandfather  
couldn't stand. Once I set a course, I will keep to it, no matter  
what. You Grandfather used to say he was glad that I didn't sail  
boats because I would sail into the worst storm because I had  
planned to sail that day. He was right.

You did very well this month. Yes, I have been keeping an eye on  
you. I am proud of you, my Makoto-chan. Very proud.

I know that you have the bare minimal in your apartment. I kept  
more things from your home than what you listed. I'll list them  
on another sheet of paper. I will hold them until you come for  
them. If you do not wish to see me, then see Mrs. Kioshi. She  
knows where they are and will let you in.

I hope that one day you will consider seeing me again, or at  
least writing me. And know that if you ever need it or want it,  
your room will always be there for you.

With all my love,  
Grandmother 

Makoto flipped to the second page. The first thing she saw was a phone number written across of the paper. She let the papers slip from her grasp as tears welled up from her heart and trailed down her face. She was not completely alone.


	5. Grownup's work

Title: Grownup's work  
Author: Ree  
Theme: Preseries - ambition  
Genre: general  
Version: Anime/Manga  
Rating: G

I asked for their stories and this is what they told me. I can't guarantee they're the truth, you will have to ask Takeuchi Naoko, to whom they belong to.

Grownup's work

Makoto walked over to the bully, her face the mirror image of her Grandmother's: cold and emotionless. With both hands she picked him up by his shirt collar. He was smaller than her, but almost everyone in her grade was. Her voice was just as deadpan as her face. "Leave her alone."

Sato squirmed trying to break her grasp. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his buddies backing away. No one wanted to mess with _this _girl. _'She's so tall, it should have been easy to drag her down. But it wasn't.'_

Makoto just tossed him into his retreating group of friends. One day she was sure he would learn not to bully, she hoped. _'Maybe he's a slow learner, it has been six months already.'_ Dusting off her hands, she scanned the others left. She realized they thought of her as a grown up, or better yet, a child doing a grown up's job: protecting them. _'It must be because I know their responsibilities. There is no room for that kind of kid in the real world.'_

It was on her first day of school that she first met that detestable slug of a person. She was stretched out on the grass, eating her lunch and reading her textbook. With so much to do when she got home, she was starting her homework early. Sato and his little gang of bullies had spotted her.

----------

"Look at that! We have a tree dressed in a school uniform!"

"That's not a tree, Sato, it is the new girl."

"Really?" His mean dark eyes slid over her.

Makoto wanted to just walk away, but she knew she couldn't. If she backed down, she would open herself up to being harassed by him all the time. Besides, it wasn't in her nature to back down. _'And we are who we are.'_ She mentally flinched at the pain that saying brought, but Grandmother was right. Picking up her book, she walked over to him. Bowing slightly she introduced herself. "Hi, I am Makoto Kino."

A stunned silence permeated the air. Sato broke it. "The tree talks!"

_'He's stuck on my height. It must have blinded him to my other attributes.'_ Drawing in a deep breath, she smiled slightly. "If you haven't noticed, I am a girl." She watched as the boy's eyes jumped to her chest and then back to her face.

Glaring at her, Sato could find no way to win this verbal battle. He wasn't used to his prey confronting him so calmly. "Are you sure? You're as tall as a boy. That's what you are, a boy in a girl's uniform. Do you have balloons under there?"

His followers laughed with him as Makoto tried not to glare. She wasn't going to let that comment hurt. She was too grown-up, to responsible for that now.

"Girls shouldn't be tall, they should be petite." With that parting shot, he and his gang left.

The fight had come a week later. Sato was picking on a girl for being too short. Makoto almost laughed when she heard him, but the look on the girl's face cut it off.

"And to think you were telling me last week that girls were supposed to be petite." She spoke loud enough to carry across the whole area.

Sato turned about to face her. He was tired of this girl. He had achieved his ambition of being the top dog of this school until she showed up. She never backed down and nothing he said seemed to affect her. So now it was time to try force. He was going to break her one way or another. It was time to regain his title. Balling his fist up, he charged her.

Makoto jumped up quickly, her weight resting lightly on the balls of her feet. As the boy swung at her, she was glad her Dad had sent her to all those martial arts classes so she could move gracefully. Raising her arm, she easily deflected his blow. Using the momentum gained from the deflection she swung with her other hand.

Sato fell back, his face purpling with rage. No one had ever landed a hit on him. A glance right and left showed that they had everyone's attention. He couldn't afford to loose. Gathering himself up he flew at his opponent.

Makoto watched him as he ran towards her, his next moved telegraphed two seconds before he even did it. Side stepping his punch, she spun about and kicked him in the back, sending him sprawling on the ground. Maneuvering herself carefully, she made sure that she could see him and his friends.

Sato dusted himself off as he got to his feet. Whatever his next attack was remained a mystery. A loud whistle blew through out the area and the teachers descended.

Sato knew he had lost, that his dreams and desires were broken by a girl. Makoto's reputation was made that day.


End file.
